Relational Youth Ministry

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Adam Walker has provided his Top 10 Youth Ministry Books - and I for one, love those kinds of blog posts. Interestingly I only have 1 out of his 10 on my shelf! [I wonder what that is saying?] - the comments section add a few other suggestions to the list.

If you only had 1 book to recommend - what would you say is your all time influential youth ministry book? [Of course, along with Desert island Discs tradition - we assume your answer would be the Bible so it's your next influential one!]

Let us all know by commenting below

Hawkosky raises an interesting point - one that you may have struggled with to the point that you have put it to one side in your too hard box. The topic in question is how do we measure our success [or lack of] in youth ministry. He mentions that many places depend heavily on the numbers.

How many go to your youth group used to be answered [by me anyway] that ‘it depends on the food’ - more food = more kids. [How did they find out when food was on the agenda?'

He [she?] goes on to talk about Jesus measurement is ‘by their fruit’. So our question becomes: “how do we measure growth in fruit?”

Your suggestions would be highly appreciated. Here are some small starting thoughts:

• individual attendance - are they coming more frequently
• participation - do they join in all activities including the spiritual ones
• questions - do they have questions that indicate they are wanting to learn and grow
• responsiveness - how do they cope when you try and get to know them and ask the hard questions.

Of course it is way easier to do ‘how many bums on seats’ - but is it the best? How do you measure success?

It won’t take you a long time reading this blog to understand that I am a firm believer in youth involvement. I enjoy preaching [I call it doing talky bits] but our students will learn far more by discussing a topic than just hearing me going on and on. I also run the risk of learning something too.

So, when a good friend of mine is offering 3 discussion starters on the topic of prayer - I want you to know about it. It includes a survey, a bible study AND a chance to doodle!

Well done Graeme.

Writing in a totally different context, Angus makes the following point:

“Maybe it’s because no one’s really reading or writ­ing these days,” said Angus. “Young people don’t read books; they don’t read papers. And when they ‘write,’ they use computers to cobble together little snippets of information, have a spell-checker proof it, and even let the computer put in paragraph breaks.”

If this is true [and there is certainly a high element of truth for it to be taken seriously] then this has implications in at least 2 ways for us as youth worker. One we will be aware of and one we may not be.

1. Our communication methods and style

Many of us realised a long time ago that we can’t assume that young people will get our pearls of wisdom if we follow Sunday morning church communication style - 20 + [40 in some places] minutes of monologue. So we use visual and participation to engage their brains. Many of us do it very well.

But there is a deeper concept going on here

2. Our students personal relationship with God.

Do we still tell our kids to read their Bible every day? If we do then are we expecting them to do it when they don’t read anywhere else [apart from school/college assignments]? Or do we think this concept is now being taken too far? We know we need to communicate more creatively but surely they will still read the word.

What alternatives have you suggested or tried to allow our students to deepen their relationship with God without assuming they will read and write? Put your comments below.

Dan Mayes writes about his church and their youth ministry without the ‘luxury’ of a youth pastor. Read the whole thing for the full perspective. I just want us to consider a short sentence at the beginning of his post:

There was basically one or two people both completely burnt out on youth ministry, with no desire, no time, no energy, and no physical wellness left to contribute.

We must provide extreme care to our volunteers to ensure that we don’t allow them to get close to being burnt out - and also that we don’t burn out ourselves!.

Doing a Google search provides 1.35 Million responses to ministry burnout - it is very real - and also very avoidable.

An Irish newspaper reported:

Children who feel pressured by parents to succeed may be more at risk of developing anxiety or even depression

In some ways that could be considered an obvious statement. I meet young people almost every week who are suffering from parents expectations.

But a not so obvious question could be; What are we specifically doing to reduce these risks>

6 questions were asked of Peter Wilson is a consultant child psychotherapist. One of them asked if he was concerned that young people were referred to as brats. His answer was delightful. I am printing a part of it here:

Dictionary: brat, a child, “especially an irritating one”. Yes, I know! … and I know one or two adults who could qualify for that title, too. But let’s face it, by and large, children have good reason for being brats, given what a lot of them have to put up with, living with “irritating” grown ups

Whilst I regularly think that the schools I have spent time in don’t have many problem students but rather problem parents, I have never seen the thought in print before. Well done Peter!

Mind you - I am not sure what good it would do for our ministry to parents - so let’s keep the secret amongst ourselves - OK?

Jan says this of herself:

I am chronologically a middle-aged woman.

But then cites various examples of times where she feels old and times when she feels young; people who are chronologically old yet appear ever young.

It reminded me of what I often say to young people - ‘I am 15 years old on the inside but my outside is way older’

Is it that fact that enables me to stay in youth ministry and be accepted by young and old alike? Well, that fact among others?

What is your age gap - external:internal?

I came across this amazing prayer the other day:

I pray that our youth ministry and the church I serve in never becomes a place where people are defined by their past or their struggles and temptations. At the same time, I pray that it is a place where people can be open and honest about those same things that they still wrestle with and find comrades and partners in the process of becoming like Jesus instead of condemning and judgmental fingers.

It concludes a post about how we often label other people with the areas that they struggle with [and of course don't do that to ourselves!].

I just love the idea of the church as being a place where we can openly discuss our areas of struggle without fear of condemnation - nice to be able to dream isn’t it?

Youth Ministry Tips has a great post about business meetings and how we can reduce the stress that they may create. One thing is for sure, many youth workers are not good business meeting attenders [you should see them running a meeting!].

These are the headings - but the post is well worth a look.

When you’re in charge:

* Schedule with purpose. * Begin and end on time. * Pray. Before, during, and after the meeting.

When you are a participant:

* Arrive on time. * Be prepared. * Be attentive.