Relational Youth Ministry

There was a specific time, a specific place, a specific young person that caused me to change to become a relational youth worker. It was summer (the kind that North Wales gets) and I was the Bible speaker at a youth camp for 15-17 year olds (about 30 of them). It was in a town called Nefyn – the camp being in a field with portable toilets brought in for the experience but no showers. Half way into the 109 day camp we took them to a resort for a swim (read for a wash!)

The bus journey saw me sat next to David and the conversation could only be described as “small talk”. I don’t do small talk, I don’t like small talk – so I asked a big question. “David, where is God in your life?” His answer shaped my ministry and life. he said “I am a really good Christian – on a Sunday” and then he started to cry. He went on to explain that he lived differently at school to how he lived at home. How his school friends could never visit his home or know about church and how his parents would be devastated if they saw him at school.

Of course it isn’t rocket science to realise that young people live that way. What was a surprise was David’s willingness (need even) to talk about his life – no holds barred. I spent the rest of my time at the camp experimenting and it seemed that all of the young people longed to have an adult conversation with someone who cared. They talked about their dreams, their pain, their shame, their joys, their family – their life.

They preferred it to my public talks! They enjoyed my jokes, my speaking style, my visual ‘tricks’, my points – but they preferred just knowing me and I loved knowing them.

I am almost 15 years on from that camp and have chatted to hundreds of young people – here are 5 points to ponder:

• Young people crave friendship with an adult who cares
• Young people will walk when they believe you are safe [I will come back to this in the future]
• Young people – the ‘nice’ ones still have issues they struggle with
• Young people – even the bad ones – are worth time and effort (especially the bad ones?)
• Relational Youth Ministry is not a short term fix and it isn’t easy – but extremely rewarding as well as frustrating.