Hard questions became a wedding invitation
This story, of a young man I will call Luke, spans a period of about 5 years – and is still ongoing. Luke appeared in my life as he was passing through my city for a college course and he became part of a local church youth group. Somehow we clicked. (I say somehow although I am becoming less surprised when these things happen and now just go with the flow). He told me about his life so far – not a totally pretty story, his dreams, his ‘issues’ – everything really. Including his inability to stick at the things he started and see them through to the end. (Hands up if you see a little of yourself in that last statement).
So I was not surprised to find that Luke had passed on through and had moved on. However, I would continue to get a random phone call every 4 to 6 months, usually updating me on life, his dreams and his issues. One time – probably about 2 years ago – he asked me my opinion of where he was at. Not always a wise thing to do as I am renowned for answering those questions with H.O.T. communication. (H = hot; O = open; T = transparent). I think he actually hung up on me, or maybe his cell phone dropped out and he wasn’t able to reconnect. I definitely got the silent treatment for several months (I can recall this happening on 2 specific instances earlier in my ministry and realise that sometimes it is a price that has to be paid to get the message across).
The next phone call was on my list of all time greatest surprises, well not so much the phone call but the 
content of the conversation over coffee. He told me he was still with the young lady who caused me to give him the hard word, they we still living together (I never expect people to follow my advice, although it is thrilling when they do – but not this time), but they were getting married and (bombshell alert) they wanted ME to marry them! I needed to draw on my counselling training where I learnt to not show on my face when I was shocked – well shocked wasn’t the right word – thrilled was more like it.
It made me think – it always pays to say what you think because that’s ultimately what young people expect when they ask you a questions and even though it can look as though you have lost a friend they are still there and have the capacity to surprise you.
