Relational Youth Ministry

11 Oct

Conversation Starters

Relational Youth Ministry is all about, you guessed it, relationships and they grow and develop based on the following criteria:

  • ImageCommonality
  • Communication
  • Care and
  • Commitment

Effectively a relationship starts at the point where you have something in common with the other person; it develops through communication; grows through demonstrating that you care and continues by giving the relationship your commitment. (Budding and fellow preachers will note the alliteration and have my permission to use this in a talk if they wish – using someone else’s idea is called research isn’t it?)

A suggested topic by Tim Schmoyer in his blog post 100 blog topics I hope YOU write was ‘Conversation starters to ask a student you just met” and it started me thinking.

In my experience I know that I always want to get to the heart of the matter as quickly as possible, I am not one for small talk, but I have learnt that other people need an opportunity to warm up to the conversation and topic before the harder questions come out. So where do you start? Well it depends. it depends on another c – context. However it is always best to start with something that you have in common. Some suggested things in common could include:

  • Location – well if you are physically meeting them then you have that physical location in common. Always good to ask questions, always good to make them open questions. So they might include “What persuaded you to be here tonight and not somewhere else?”; “If you weren’t here right now where could you be?”; “When was the last time you were at a place like this?”
  • Physical appearance – that is something we have in common, well aspects of it at least. Now here you need to be sensitive and focus on the positives so I would exclude “How long have you been overweight?” and “How many people have more pimples than you’ve got?” For guys I always comment on someone taller than me [I am 5’11″} and they seem to love it. Either that or hair (seeing as mine is now a memory) or occasionally what they are wearing “Wow, where did you get that ….” type of thing.

As we start to get into things a little bit here are a few of my favourite questions (yes the ‘u’ in there shows I am British) and they work at various times, I think they are self explanatory, as to why I am asking them, but feel free to seek clarification.

  • Who are you?
  • How can I serve you?
  • Where is God in your life?
  • How is God treating you at the moment?
  • How are you treating Him?
  • Who lives at your house?
  • What would you say has been one of your greatest achievements?

Thinking about it, I have heaps of questions – maybe another post will be required.

2 Responses to “Conversation Starters”

  1. 1
    100 blog topics I hope YOU write » Life in Student Ministry Says:

    [...] starters to ask a student you just met [also posted here] [...]

  2. 2
    63 youth ministry issues YOU should cover | Life in Student Ministry Says:

    [...] Conversation starters to ask a student you just met [also posted here] [...]

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