That’s where my personal relationship with God becomes all-important
- if my connection isn’t fully working then what am I modelling? More than that – what am I imparting spiritually as I pray and work with them?

It may well be possible to run for a little time on empty [in fact I know it
is possible!] but it isn’t possible to run for long or indeed to run our best when we feel low ourselves. John 15 talks about abiding in the vine
and whilst I am not much of a gardener [that in itself is a gross understatement], I do realise that if a branch is cut off from the main body of the tree then it dies. It may well look full of green leaves for a little while but make no mistake about it – it is dead.

The aim of this post is not to generate guilt, my observations have shown that we are quite capable of creating more guilt than we need, but to stimulate us into reassessing our ongoing relationship with God and making any necessary changes. There are many ways that we can find ourselves needing to re-establish a past friendship level with God. We could be tired, feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of life, depressed, have lost some of our inspiration. It will be worth some of your time to
identify the cause or causes because they may well need some attention to ensure that you don’t repeat the same scenario in the coming weeks and months.

The main key being that when we have recognised the need to rebuild that we take action. I can happily ‘perform’ in front of people when I am not spiritually topped up – but I know the difference.

But, no worries, the answer is easy. Get reconnected, return to God – re-establish your times with Him – pick up that Bible again, listen to those CD’s, even listen to the preacher and God will be there. In fact he never moved – we did and He is keener than we are to fill us afresh with His love, His compassion, His grace, His mercy, and His vision.

Personalities vary dramatically and the way that individuals will maintain their devotional life will be just that – individual; but I would like to suggest several components for your consideration.

• Spiritual reading: experiencing grace through scriptures, through other books [leaders are readers], through listening to written works [time in the car could be invested into your spiritual life by a good selection of tapes/cds].
• Spiritual reflection: writing a journal to express your thoughts, time away on retreat [1 day a month would be a starting point], times of solitude, prayer.
• Accountability partnerships: it is good for us to have someone we can both talk to and be talked to about our relationship with God, people around us that not only observe but have permission to comment as appropriate [for those of us who are married we live
  with someone like this!]

In the Law of the School everything is left to the last possible moment. the essay is due in tomorrow so I will do it tonight; I have been given holiday homework and 6 weeks to do it – so I will do it on the last day. I have an exam next week so I will stay up all night the night before to revise. I know you will understand this law because many of us will recognise ourself in it [not just the students that we work with].

The farmer could not possibly live that way. He needs to harvest the crop tomorrow so he spends all night planting the seed – ridiculous isn’t it? If he doesn’t sow in the right time he won’t reap in the right season. If he doesn’t plan in advance and work out the right sequence then he won’t see success ‘in due season’.

Which leads to the question: what style of ministry do we operate? For me Relational Youth Ministry can only operate under the Law of the Farm – it is long, slow, sometimes arduous work – but the harvest is amazing.

Bible reading cannot be substituted

Church? – it’s a must so find a good one

Disciples – find someone to disciple you

Energy is available to the young – use it wisely

Friendships are the key to growth – or not!

God can do more than you can ask or think

Help others with their issues

Influences are influential

Jonah ran, but not far enough. Don’t try it

Keep on praying

Leaning – who do you lean on? Who leans on you?

Make a difference to your world

No-one is loved more by God than you

Open up your life to other people

Plan – God has one for you

Questions are normal and to be encouraged

Remember God wants you OVER the circumstances

Samuel was a young guy when he heard Gods voice

True love waits

Understanding God will be easy in heaven but not yet

Vulnerability – help those who cannot help themselves

WWJD? – what would Jesus do?

X boyfriends/girlfriends are still your bro/sis in Christ

You are made in God’s image

Zest for life – live it to the full

1. The Bible – they read, study,meditate on it. Non Christians just ignore or ridicule it.
2. Prayer – they do it as a part of normal life as opposed to when crisis occurs.
3. Temptation – they recognise it and resist it [not always successfully] as opposed to embrace it or not even see it as temptation but simply as a fun thing to do
4. Guidance – they understand that there is a plan worth finding and seek guidance from God and others as opposed to letting life pass them by.
5. Witnessing – they talk to others about their faith [not an easy one and they often need support].
6. Peer group pressure – they spot it from a distance and do everything they can to not get sucked in by the popular crowd.
7. Personal relationships – they treat people with respect and offer them support and love at all times rather than look down on people different to them
8. Self image – they get their from God and what he says about them rather than following the popular fads and media provided images.

OK – so am I running the risk of being idealistic? Let me know.

One biblical example of volunteerism in found in Exodus 18. Moses was operating his judicial ministry as a lone ranger when his father in law [possibly motivated by concern for his daughter and grandchildren] suggested a better way. Volunteers would reduce Moses’ workload and provide a better service. Of course by volunteers I am not suggesting casual, inexperienced, untrained people.

Even though the benefits can be clearly stated there can often be a reluctance to employ them as well as a reluctance to offer ourselves to be a volunteer.

Volunteers can be a lot of work and that can cause us to avoid the effort of using them. We can possibly do the task in less time than it takes us to explain how to do it. There is also the risk that they might be more capable than us in doing a specific task that would highlight any insecurity in us. Alternatively we might assume that no one could possibly do the job `just right’ – as well as we can. Equally we might have never been trained in delegating tasks to other people and we are just not sure what to do. Near sightedness can cause us to be reluctant to let go of some part of our work.

Long-term costs of failing to use volunteers can include burnout, breakdown and loss of everything that we are currently reluctant to let go of.

Sometimes people are reluctant to volunteer as they lack confidence to the point of being afraid. These can be overcome through encouragement and training. Keep these issues in mind as you approach potential co-workers.

It is always safest to make the approach to a potential volunteer than make an announcement. You can then avoid some of the characteristics that you don’t need in your ideal volunteer e.g. people that are grown up kids or want to be chaperones or preachers.

I would like to suggest four essential characteristics and five bonus ones to look for in potential volunteers.

• Availability – kind of obvious, but if they cant make the youth night then it would be harder for them to volunteer
• Sense of calling – the motivation to be involved is critical. Ideally it needs to be God that has called them to youth work.
• They like young people – another obvious one, but if there isn’t a respect, concern and care for youth then it simply won’t work.
• Growing spiritually – it will be difficult for someone to help a young person to grow if they themselves are stagnant.

Bonus qualities would include

• Understanding of youth culture
• Good relational skills
• Heightened and developed communication skills
• A sense of humour
• Patience [the more the better]

Whenever you are planning a volunteer team ensure that you have a good balance of gender, ages, married/singles etc and ensure that you take up adequate references

Don’t let the difficulties of volunteerism put you off the consequences of lone ranger mentality will be far worse.

Young people both love, need and respond to a challenge.

In the country I grew up in (England) there is a nationwide scheme called the Duke of Edinburgh awards (named after the husband of the
Queen of England). It challenges young people in 4 sections at 3 levels – service, expeditions skills and physical recreation (www.theaward.org) – all in a non competitive environment.

There is also Youth Challenge International (www.yci.org) in Canada, Australia, Guyana and Costa Rica. Youth Challenge is in Singapore (www.youthchallenge.org.sg). and they are just from the first page of a Google search!

Whole organisations exist to challenge young people to make a difference. One of the websites has this slogan – ‘Life is a challenge – meet it’.

Coupled with the love of a challenge and wanting to be stretched and asked to go beyond – far beyond – their perceived potential is the inner desire to make a difference to their world.

My suggestion is that you harness these motivations and develop your youth group at the same time. If you plan and think creatively it could also produce some publicity for your group and open avenues for increased funding.

There are many areas worthy of investigation – here are some starter suggestions:

Environment

• Clean up a local park or lake or street or mall
• Plant trees, shrubs or a rose garden
• Work with an animal shelter

In this area you don’t need to reinvent the wheel – offer the
willing hands of your group to an existing project or scheme. Local
press will have details or contact your local government office for a list of possibilities.

Community Service

• Work with an aged care facility
• A kindergarten or nursery
• Care for people with disabilities

Overseas/Interstate project

There is an additional dynamic when you include a travel component even if it is to a neighbouring city and working in partnership with another youth group.

Evangelistic Challenge

You can also issue a spiritual challenge requesting your group reach out to others either locally or as part of a travel project. They could do drama or dance, a full-scale production or host a dinner – the list is endless. You might also want to check out www.youth-challenge.org for ideas.

Summary

Make your youth group the happening place, challenge them to feed the hungry, visit the prisoner because in doing so ….

With any potential guilt out of the way, let’s look at why reading them is definitely worth it.

It enables you to read their thoughts

Even when we have a good relationship with out student there will still be things that they don’t tell us. Not because they don’t want us to know but more often that they think it is too trivial or occasionally it may be to personal to say something face to face. We can learn about their interests and friendships, we can see what social activities they engage in, what is going on in their family. We will see things at a different level (often frivolous and humorous) than we might at youth group.

From time to time I have read something that concerned me enough to raise it with them at church – or it prompted an email.

Not knowledge for knowledge sake

The purpose is not just to know more about a student but rather to understand them better. In understanding them better we will be in a stronger position to minister to them. Equally we will be able to connect with them informally – for example, ‘Did you have a great time with Mark when he was over? I read about him on your blog.’ In every case the student has smiled and was pleased that I took the time to read their blog and mention it to them.

A friendly shoulder

From time to time I read something that isn’t appropriate – either specific language or details of certain activities. Time for a friendly shoulder – a pastoral chat about how their life is going, where they are headed. it is an opportunity to get in early and nip an activity in the bud.

A chance to celebrate

The positive spin off is that we can become aware of their achievements – maybe their basketball team got into the finals, or they won a math competition. It gives us the chance to congratulate – privately or publicly – and acknowledge them for what they have done.

In summary

Try and discover your students blogs/ My Space/ Face book details it will give you insights and make your ministry with them more effective and it will enable you to join their celebrations.

This post was inspired by Tim Schmoyer in his post 100 blog topics I hope YOU write.

Top 5 Serious Questions

1. Who made God?
2. What’s the deal with all the suffering in the world?
3. Why should I believe in God if I can’t see Him?
4. What about Adam and Eve? [The Creation vs Evolution Debate]
5. The Bible? It’s full of contradictions

The Fun Ones (well they made me smile when I heard them for the first time!)

1. Can God make a taco so hot He can’t eat it? [the post modern version of Can He make a rock so big He can't move it].
2. Did Adam have a belly button?
3. How did the Polar Bears get from the Artic Circle to the Middle East to get on the ark?
4. Come to think of it – how did the kangaroos get from the Middle East to Australia after the ark [and not settle in various places on the way]
5. Please submit your suggestions [for the fun or the serious category]

In some senses this one is an obvious – but maybe you too have left the preparation to the very last minute [driving to the youth meeting?] and whilst the subject matter is known to a level it possible would have benefited from more advanced thought – research even?

2. The learner should be interested in learning

Having taught many talks on many Friday nights I understand there is usually a mixed audience when it comes to interest level – sometimes that mixture is beyond our control. The point still stands though – to create effective learning the listener has to be interested.

3. Use language that is common in meaning to both

Make your talks a jargon free zone. There are numerous examples of words that just don’t travel very well across the age divide, or the on-Christian divide or in some cases just the cultural gap. Just imagine what ‘;washed in the blood’ could sound like to the untheological.

4. Keep the lesson simple and it makes common sense

K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple. Stupid – so let’s just go with the KIS – keeping it simple means more people get the point. It doesn’t mean we don’t have to introduce challenging content, rather that we present it in such a way as they can’t hide behind misunderstanding or lack of understanding.

5. It is better to facilitate self learning

If we can point students ion the direction of self bible study, if we can make it easy for them then their learning will continue well beyond Friday night and will be way ore effective.

6. It is all about review and application – changed lives.

For me, youth ministry teaching is more than intellectual knowledge it’s about an increased relationship between the young person and God – it’s about changed lives. The challenge is for me to hold up the content of what I say against the matrix of life changing potential.

“Friends with benefits” is a term today’s teenagers and college students use for couples who have sex but are not romantically in love.

I have been aware of the use of this phrase for quite some time. However, I don’t think I have ever seen it written down or defined. Seeing it in print renewed my unease with the whole concept.

A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicates that such relationships are common. About 60% of 125 students surveyed at Michigan State University reported having had a “friend with benefits” relationship. Only one-tenth of these couples became full-scale romances. About a third stayed friends but stopped having sex, and a fourth broke off altogether. The rest remained “friends with benefits.”

Of course with statistics we never really know how reliable they are when extrapolated [good word?] out to the general population. In real figures that means that out of the 125 surveyed 24 of them are still ‘enjoying’ a friend with benefits situation.

“We found that people got into these relationships because they didn’t want commitment. It was perceived as a safe relationship, at least at first,” Dr. Timothy Levine observed. “But there was this growing fear that the one person would become more attracted than the other.” The couples usually never talked about one subject: their relationships.

And therein lies the two issues : a lack of commitment and an inability to talk about their relationship.

On scales of intimacy, “friends with benefits” score low on passion and commitment.

If they score low on intimacy and passion then it makes me ask the question – ‘why bother’? But then again the answer comes to mind immediately – it’s just an answer I don’t want to acknowledge!